Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
