so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
