He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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