If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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