I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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