He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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