We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
