I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
