so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
