no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
