She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Randomize
