Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
