the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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