Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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