Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize