Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
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