I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
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