drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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