A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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