Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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