Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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