before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
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