So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
