I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize