I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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