i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
