She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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