ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
