FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
