That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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