Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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