Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
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