onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
We need a shit load of segways right now
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?