what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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