coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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