it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
