Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
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