on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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