And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
You need Xanax blowdarts
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
