sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
