Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
All I want is dick and wine.
I think my moral compass just broke
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
