Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
