"it" just moved
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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