Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
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No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
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What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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