he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
