There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize
