No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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