have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
