I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
