Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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