If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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