I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Randomize
