I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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