He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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