That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
