he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
