I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
