He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
