i don't like sucking hair
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
