I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
