I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
