whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
You were trust falling into bushes
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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