New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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