i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
